15 MINUTES OF FAME & YOUR OLD LINOLEUM FLOOR

15 MINUTES OF FAME

&

YOUR OLD LINOLEUM FLOOR

Fifteen minutes of fame can come from almost anywhere - mine came from an old linoleum floor!

Well, not exactly...

For quite a few years, I had a run as an  "on-air, guest design consultant and/or decorative artist" (the producers never could make up their mind what I was) on HGTV, appearing mostly on "Your Home With Kitty Bartholomew."  I had met Kitty some years before when she was the designer on ABC's "Home Show" show (the predecessor of "The View") where my husband was the head writer and where I also made a couple of on-air 'design' appearances.  So,when she moved to HGTV after the "Home Show" was canceled, I followed. 

Most designers on HGTV are unpaid, the network argument being that the publicity is payment enough, but since I also structured and wrote my segments, I got a pittance.  And I mean pittance... barely enough to buy a pair of shoes at Payless.  But, it was fun and I loved doing it, especially if one of my TV/film writing projects ended up in 'turn-around' (translation: rejected after a long option period).  I liked being on location, staging the set for my 'shoot' and mixing it up w/ my producer, Kitty and  the crew.  My least favorite thing was the 'on-camera' part... I was nervous and often felt inarticulate.  But as I got more comfortable talking to the camera, the more I was on.

I even ended up getting fan mail.  Really.  Me!  Fan mail!  (Well, actually, it was mostly Fan Email.)  Even from guys in prison!  Though they never asked me for advice re: decorating their cells which was sad because there are so many things one can do w/ a one room apartment, even a teeny, tiny one.

But there was more...

One time I was in LAX picking up a friend flying in from New York and a woman came over to me and asked me for my autograph.  I thought she had mistaken me for someone else, but when I asked her who she thought I was, she answered w/o hesitation, "Ilona from HGTV."  She was from Cleveland!  What a hoot.  Another time I was by myself having a hot dog at one of those picnic tables in Costco, when a family of four sat down at a neighboring table and just stared at me... the whole time I was eating my dog.  It was rather disconcerting, so when I was finished I went over to them and asked, "Can I help you?"  The woman was so embarrassed, she turned away, but her husband asked me if I was on TV.  My immediate reply, of course, was no.  I really wasn't "on" TV.  But he continued...  "Don't you paint and decorate rooms?" It was then I realized that this family had recognized me from HGTV.

Kitty's show was eventually canceled a few years ago and along w/ it my fifteen minutes of fame.  I don't regret those fifteen minutes, but I'm glad it never grew to a half-hour.  I don't like people watching me eat.

However, because some of my segments lingered on the HGTV website, I continued to get emails long after my shows stopped running on the network.  One frequent request my 'fans' asked was the step-by-step directions for painting an old linoleum/vinyl floor... something I had demonstated on Kitty's show (this segment may still be up on the HGTV website w/ pix).

Sadly, I have no 'still' pictures to include... but for those who want a DIY way to redo an old and dated kitchen or bathroom linoleum/vinyl floor w/o breaking the bank .. here goes:

1.  After cleaning your floor's surface, paint one or two coats of water-based Bulls Eye 1-2-3 Zinser, interior/exterior Primer Sealer, Stain Killer paint (or other primer your paint store recommends). I recommend this product because I've gotten great results.  It’s an incredible primer that makes the surface porous, allowing paint to adhere to it - just follow the easy directions.

2. Choose the color you want to paint the floor, then go for it using any brand of indoor/outdoor water-based flat paint. Use flat paint to keep the floor porous for your design. Wait 24 hours.  If you aren't painting a design on your floor, any good deck/cement paint will work as well.

3. Paint your design or picture onto the floor. Some simple ways to create a design are with stencils, stencil stamps, dripping different color paints on the floor a la Jackson Pollock, have the kids do drawings (or hand and footprints), stamp or print your favorite sayings or poems, etc. I use my artist water-based acrylic paint, but if you have old indoor and/or outdoor water-based paint you want to use up, by all means. I also use permanent pens.

4. After the design is dry (I’d wait another 24 hours), you need to seal it with polyurethane or varathane. I prefer Varathane Elite Diamond Finish as it is water-based, doesn’t really smell, doesn’t yellow and dries fast. Do at least 3 to 4 coats initially, then once a year or so, touch it up with another coat. Whether you choose a satin, semi-gloss or high-gloss finish doesn’t matter.

FYI:  If you use oil-based paint, you must continue to use oil-based paint for you design and chose a polyurethane or varathane that can be used over oil-based paint.

And two little hints... always work toward a doorway (so you can get out of the room) and if your floor is big or you need to use it daily like I did my kitchen, do a section at a time, if possible.

The most important thing is to use your imagination and have fun.

I'm not going to be painting a floor in the next week or so, but I will be having fun.   Richard and I are off to Sonoma/Napa wine country.  I'll tell you all about it when I return.